In the spirit of honesty, I just wanted to share this message I sent my darling friend sm. They are my most strident supporter and are always encouraging me to post/publish more of my meandering thoughts. so much love.
Trigger Warning: addiction
Almost a whole bottle of wine and craving cigarettes. The lure of blinding intoxication is thick, both weighing me down and speeding my heart beat all at once. Suddenly all of the sherrys, ports, flavoured liqueurs bought for guests and french cooking have become glass goblins. They jeer and beckon with sinister merriment, advertising a good time. I want to resist but all of the bottles are open and my inner demons are thirsty. I feel electric and dangerous like a vampire queen flush and in heat. Aching for ecstasy but the warmth from my groin has died. Loins dried from inattention and fear, my brittle petals have fallen and been crushed underfoot. In this darkness, in my shroud of despair I see in the distance a sparkle. A flicker of light reflected on amber glass – filled with the distilled, aromatic balm. A remedy for remembering. I stand poised above its surface, daring myself to dive.
Fold a Fitted Sheet 